They Didn’t Change. I Did.

And it changed everything, personally and professionally.

Two years ago, I shared these words from Abraham Hicks:

“Tell everyone you know: My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook. And then demonstrate it. Be happy no matter what they are doing… Before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for how you feel—and then, you'll love them all.”

And alongside that, I shared:

“I became selfish. I gave myself permission to not play with those that aren't fun to play with, until I found the vibration of alignment of who I really am. And now everyone I play with is fun. Did they all change? They didn’t change. I did.”

At the time, these words emerged from a deeply personal rupture, a terrifying, eye-opening experience in a close relationship that forced me to confront the parts of myself I had been abandoning in the name of harmony, obligation, or fear. It wasn’t just about one person or one dynamic. It was about reclaiming my sense of self, my sovereignty, my wholeness - the values I lived by that I somehow quietly and subtly abandoned in my spaces closest to me.

I had to ask some uncomfortable questions: Where had I been outsourcing my happiness? Where had I internalised the belief that other people were responsible for how I feel, or even who I get to be? Where had I confused kindness with self-abandonment? Where had I started expecting others to take responsibility for my needs.

It was a personal reckoning. But what I couldn’t have seen back then was just how far-reaching the impact of those shifts would be, not just in my relationships or emotional health, but in business, too.

And here’s something that might feel a little confronting: If you’re blaming someone else for how you feel, that’s your clearest signal that you’ve given away your power.

Blame is seductive. It gives us a sense of moral certainty, of being the one who was wronged. But it also keeps us stuck. Because the moment we make someone else responsible for our happiness, peace, or freedom, we hand over our agency. We often forget that we always have a choice: to shift the story, reclaim our authority, and decide what we will allow and what we will create.

Responsibility isn’t about guilt, it’s about remembering what is possible when we stand in our own alignment.

The Integration We Don’t Talk About Enough

We often treat the personal and professional as separate categories, two sides of a coin that must never touch. One is the self you show in relationships or in your private reflections. The other is the self you show at work, in your business, on your LinkedIn profile.

But the truth is, there’s no such thing as compartmentalisation when it comes to power, alignment, or identity.

Who you are at home, who you are alone, who you are with your team, who you are when no one’s watching, it’s all the same self. And if you’re out of alignment in one area, it will echo across all the others.

Over the past few months, I’ve watched this truth play out in real time. The same energetic shifts that healed old wounds and called me back to myself have shown up in my business:

• Clients feel easier to work with 

• Boundaries are cleaner and no longer require explanation 

• Offers flow more naturally and magnetically 

• Money has moved in ways that feel less effortful and more right

Why? Because I changed the core frequency I was leading with.

If you’ve done any kind of personal development work, you already know that chasing validation or fulfillment from outside of yourself doesn’t truly work. But what I’ve come to realise is how subtle and subconscious that chasing can be. Even when we think we’ve outgrown it, we might still find ourselves adjusting, performing, overdelivering, or quietly hoping that our worth will be confirmed by a client’s praise, a partner’s response, a bank balance, or a business win. What changed for me wasn’t just mindset, it was an energetic decision to stop looking outward for proof of my enough-ness. I started anchoring that validation from within, which allowed me to show up more whole, more honest, and ultimately more magnetic, in life and in business.

You can’t cheat this. You can’t BS it. You can’t bypass the inner work with a few affirmations or surface-level mindset shifts. I can guarantee you: the transformation happens when you sit in the discomfort, when you hold your own self-doubt up to the light, when you stay conscious and curious instead of reactive. That’s when things start to move. That’s when the outside shifts, because the inside finally got honest.

And just like in my relationships… The clients didn’t change. The business environment didn’t change. The industry didn’t suddenly become easier.

I did.

Power Is an Inside Job

As someone who works in identity, strategy, and wellness, both in personal and professional spaces, I’ve seen this pattern over and over again:

We seek change out there. We seek validation, ease, results… out there. But change, ease, results? They begin here.

We don’t need more strategy if the energy behind the strategy is fear, people-pleasing, scarcity, or martyrdom. We don’t need another funnel or mindset hack, we need to come home to ourselves.

What I have learned, and continue to learn, is that true power isn’t performative. It’s quiet. Grounded. Liberating. It says: “I get to feel good regardless of what you’re doing.” It says: “I trust myself to walk away when a dynamic no longer aligns.” It says: “My business, my leadership, and even my money reflect the clarity and congruence I choose to embody.”

Terryfing? Hell yes! Liberating? You have NO IDEA!

Performance vs Achievement

It’s worth pausing to reflect on the word performance. In business, we use it to describe success, high performance, peak performance, and performance reviews. But the word itself also reveals something more profound: how much of modern business has become a stage. We perform roles, we perform confidence, we perform productivity, often at the expense of our well-being and authenticity.

But what we’re actually looking for is achievement. 

“A thing done successfully, typically by effort, courage, or skill.” (Oxford Languages)

More formally, achievement refers to the attainment of a goal or standard through deliberate action, often involving challenge or persistence.

So at its core, achievement implies:

• Intentional effort

• Skill or capability

• Success in reaching a desired outcome

• Often, overcoming some form of resistance, obstacle, or difficulty

It’s a powerful word because it suggests something earned - not just given or performed for show.

And if you want true, sustainable achievement - in your work, your life, your relationships - you can’t separate the human from the goal. You have to integrate the person behind the business: their needs, their energy, their desires, their capacity. That’s where real success begins.

The Invitation You Can’t Ignore

If you’re reading this and wondering what it would mean to take back your own power, maybe not in a loud, dramatic way, but in a quiet, steady, integrated way, I invite you to start noticing:

• Where are you outsourcing how you feel? 

• Where are you tolerating misalignment in the name of obligation or performance? 

• Where are you still trying to earn your right to be here?

And then remember: You get to shift. Not when they change. But because you do.

And when you do? Everything changes.

Nurture Your Nature

If something in you knows it’s time for real change - how you feel about your work, your life, and yourself - then Nurture Your Nature is not just another program or self-development investment. It’s the reset you didn’t know you needed.

This is for high-capacity humans who are ready to stop performing and start aligning. Who are done navigating pressure, self-doubt, and exhaustion by pushing through. If you’ve been craving clarity, energy, and a deeper connection to what actually drives you - but haven’t had the space to reflect or reset - this is that space.

Because here’s the truth: how you show up in business is directly tied to how connected you are to yourself. Your decision-making, your leadership, your creativity, your energy, it all flows from your inner alignment. When you restore that, everything changes.

We’ll strip back the noise and get to the root of what you want next, what’s no longer working, and how to lead from a place of integrity, power, and presence - in business and in life.

If you’re serious about sustainable growth and showing up fully in the work you’re here to do, you need to be in the room.

ABOUT NURTURE TO NATURE

This is not a quintessential five-star experience. It’s something rarer - a space where the nervous system can exhale, the mask can drop, and your inner clarity can rise.

No polished production and performance. Just real food, real connection, and real you. Barefoot in the sand, with nature on your skin.

This is not about learning a leadership model or adopting a mindset strategy. It’s about the inner recalibration that happens when you reconnect with your truth and your deepest longing, when you learn how to witness yourself with compassion, when you begin to listen to the quiet parts you’ve silenced to survive.

Through writing, moving your body, somatic tools, and the VIVID and LIFE STORY frameworks, we create a space for profound personal clarity - the kind that ripples outward into how you lead, create, relate, and live. You might feel out of your comfort zone, and that might be exactly how you find yourself again.

Because when you're more connected to yourself, you're more available to others. When you're no longer performing wholeness, but living it - everything changes.

📍 Jeffreys Bay, South Africa, September 19–25, 2025

Co-hosted by myself and Stella Madre, this is a space where real reconnection becomes possible.

If you’ve felt the tension between who you’ve had to be and who you really are, this is your invitation to return to wholeness.

DM me. I’d love to have you with us.