Held | Heard | Healed | About me

Yesterday I was asked a series of questions for a collaborative bio. Nothing in them was unfamiliar; this is the life I’ve lived, the body I’ve lived it in, the woman I’ve become through it all. And yet… something in the sequence, in the stillness it invited, quietly cracked something open in me. I saw myself. My wholeness. My story.

So I’m sharing my answers here, not because they’re special, but because the practice of asking felt profound. If you have a moment, I invite you to sit with these questions too. Journal them. Voice note them. Let them stir something in you.

Everything may not apply. That’s okay. Let it be a mirror, not a mould.

This might be something worth gifting yourself once a year, perhaps on your birthday. A pause. A touchpoint. A quiet return to your own becoming.

Especially for us as women. As mothers. As those who hold so much. Give yourself this.

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Tell us a bit about who you are ~ as a woman, a mother, and in your work.

I’m Tertia, a 51-year-old mother of four kids aged 28, 23, 14, and 11. I'm a former corporate strategist and digital transformation specialist, and now a trauma-informed Identity & Health Coach. My work sits at the intersection of the personal and the powerful, helping women and men reclaim their energy, clarity, and sense of self. I’ve walked through burnout, PTSD, hormonal chaos, and motherhood’s messiness, and I’m not here to pretend it was tidy. I’m here to walk with humans as they rediscover their own wisdom and identity.

What was the most challenging part of your motherhood journey ~ and how did you get through it?

The hardest part, without question, is when your kids grow up and leave home. Time goes by so quickly, you watch them grow, you try to soak it all in, but nothing quite prepares you for the moment they step out to live their own lives. People talk about the relief of kids becoming independent, but for a mother, it’s a quiet kind of grief. A loss that doesn’t get named.

How did I get through it? I’m not sure I have. I keep reminding myself that our children aren’t meant to live for us; we’re here to guide them into the world, not keep them close forever. So I hold onto that truth like a thread… that letting them go is fulfilling the very purpose of motherhood. And some days, that has to be enough.

What is something you wish someone had told you before becoming a mom?

I wish someone had told me how important it is to take care of yourself, how vital it is to regulate your own nervous system and protect your own peace. To be a little selfish, even. Because when you do that, you’re not taking away from your children, you’re actually giving them a more grounded, present, and emotionally available version of you. That’s the real gift.

Who or what held you when you felt most lost in motherhood?

My truth held me. My inner knowing. I’ve always had a strong sense of self-trust, and motherhood only deepened that. I lost my mom when I was 12. From the age of three, I grew up knowing I’d have to rely on myself. I wouldn't have my mother around when I became a mother. It shaped me, it made me listen inward rather than outward.

There weren’t online WhatsApp groups or mommy forums during my first two pregnancies, and with my last two, I chose not to join them. I had no desire to. Not because I had all the answers, but because I knew that quieting the noise allowed me to hear what was true for me and my children. I didn’t need a flood of advice. I needed a few trusted advisors. I needed to trust that I knew what was right. And that’s what held me.

What helped you feel heard in a season when you felt unseen?

This question takes me back to when I was living with PTSD, when you feel disconnected from others and, more painfully, from yourself. It’s hard to feel heard when you don’t even feel present in your own life or your own body. But at the heart of it, what helped me was the deep desire to reconnect with myself.

I knew instinctively that I had to do the real work to heal, not just patch things up, but to release what I had carried for far too long. Trauma has a way of unlocking everything that’s been buried.

One event can unravel all the unprocessed pain. But I didn’t want to keep carrying it. I wanted to be free. That desire, to find myself, to come home to myself, that’s what helped me feel seen again.

What has been part of your personal healing, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical?

Returning to nature has been at the centre of it all. Therapeutic-grade essential oils helped me reconnect to my body. Deep nourishment through functional nutrition provided me with a solid foundation. Moving my body, making it feel strong and capable, restored a kind of inner confidence that no one else can give you.

When you feel your own strength and resilience in your body, you start to believe in your ability to navigate anything.

Healing, for me, has also meant owning that happiness is an inside job. No one else is responsible for how I feel. If I’m not enjoying the people around me, it’s usually a sign I need to look inward. That kind of radical self-responsibility has been the most freeing thing I’ve ever embraced.

Nervous system repair, finding my own truth, shedding the conditioning and expectations of the world, those have all been vital. It’s not about arrogance, it’s about true humility: knowing your place in the world, your relationship to it, and making the healthiest choices for yourself, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, day by day.

What do you do or offer now that supports other women or moms?

I’m a trauma-informed health coach specialising in gut health, hormonal balance, and metabolic restoration. I also work deeply with identity, helping humans reconnect with their future selves through their deepest longings and desires.

I run Cleanse & Restore, a foundational program that teaches how to detoxify gently and nourish your body for sustainable wellness. That journey continues through Your Body, Your Power - a 13-month lifestyle transformation program that helps women understand their bodies, support their hormones, and build lasting habits from a place of self-trust.

I also lead The PureRepubliq Network, where we offer courses, communities, and support for women choosing a more natural, connected way to live. I'm a strong advocate for eating well, moving your body, natural health solutions, such as pharmaceutical-grade and tested essential oils, functional supplements, and nervous system practices, that support healing and vitality without relying solely on pharmaceuticals, or when unnecessary.

What does being ‘Held | Heard | Healed’ mean to you personally?

For me, it starts with turning those words inward. Holding myself. Hearing myself. Healing myself. That’s the deepest responsibility I’ve learned: that my happiness, my safety, my restoration, all begin with me. No one else can truly hold, hear, or heal me until I’ve done that for myself.

Everything outside of that is support - beautiful, yes, but not the foundation.

When you hold yourself, you create safety. When you hear yourself, you stop performing, you create. When you heal yourself, you come home to your own body. You reconnect with your purpose, your longings, and your desires- not someone else’s version of you, but your own truth. That, to me, is real healing.

Is there anything else you’d love to share or say to the women reading your story?

Yes! The world will tell you to shrink. To be quiet. To be grateful for crumbs. But I’m here to remind you that you’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to have desires. To change your mind. To come home to yourself again and again and again.

But also - no one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself. Nothing in life holds meaning except the meaning you give it. And everything you admire or resist in someone else often reflects something you haven’t yet owned in yourself.

That’s not something to fear - that’s your invitation.

So don’t give up. Keep going deeper. Enjoy this journey with yourself, because that’s the real purpose - not to perform, not to chase external missions, but to live fully as you are. To become the best version of yourself without shame, guilt, or judgment.

You’re not a victim. You’re not here to be rescued. And you’re not here to rescue everyone else either. Save yourself. When you do, you show up stronger - for your children, your partner, your community, and most importantly, for you.

When it comes to motherhood, this poem by Kahlil Gibran has been my north star, my inspiration, and often my comfort. It reminds me that our children are not ours to mould, but souls entrusted to us for a time, to guide, love, and let go. Every time I read it, I return to what truly matters in this role: presence, trust, and reverence for their own unfolding. On Children - Khalil Gibran

Your children are not your children.    

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.    

They come through you but not from you,    

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,    

For they have their own thoughts.    

You may house their bodies but not their souls,    

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.     You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.    

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.    

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.    

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.    

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;    

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

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When Shirley became a mother, she found herself surrounded by more opinions than understanding, more pressure than presence. What she really needed was to feel held, heard, and healed. That quiet but powerful need eventually gave birth to a space by the same name - Held, Heard, Healed - an Instagram page she created to offer honest support and soft landing places for mothers who don’t always feel seen.

Shirley invited me to answer a series of questions for this project, and today I’m sharing my responses here. This is my story - raw, real, and rooted in the journey of motherhood, healing, identity, and finding my way home to myself.

You can follow Shirley’s beautiful work over at @held_heard_healed.